I was never the pretty girl. Or the smart one. Or the funny one. Or the one everyone wanted to be associated with. I was basically plain. Unexciting and unremarkable.
Yet, somehow I still managed to survive. I survived high school and all the mean girls, I survived college and all the perils that must be maneuvered to walk away unscathed and I survived my early twenties when I had no idea who in the world I was or what I wanted out of life.
When I was in college, people used to tell me that I needed to become a “flight attendant”. Now, they may have meant it as a compliment but I always took it as – all you’ve got going for you is a great personality, so don’t aim too high at becoming something else – you won’t. Luckily, I didn’t pay those people much attention.
Even without the title of “great” or “special”, I eventually managed to find a man that would put up with me, have three wonderful children and gather a group of great friends around me. Somehow, this girl who didn’t offer much to the world managed to make it to this place in life – still unexciting and unremarkable – but at the place of realization that it doesn’t really matter. After all, God created unexceptional people for a reason. I’m not sure what it was – but he did.
I look around and I see “remarkable” people everywhere. Maybe I see a woman who’s beautiful or another that’s professionally successful and yet another that can somehow capture the attention of an entire room full of people as I struggle to keep the attention of just one individual. Sometimes I feel a bit of jealousy that I missed out on being a part of that group, but the majority of the time I’m happy that I don’t feel the pressure to compete. Being average lends itself to lower expectations and less of a need to try to measure up. And if you know me, you know how much I despise competition and what a poor sport I can be. For now I’m happy with sitting back and watching others fight their way to the top so they can claim their moment of greatness.
There’s an old saying “It’s hard to fly with eagles when your hanging around with turkeys.” I rather enjoy hanging around the turkeys – they’re a heck of a lot of fun. Now, if can just dodge the droppings of the eagles flying above . . .
Characteristics of the Pharisees (copied directly from the Life Application Bible):
*They behaved as though their own religious rules were just as important as God's rules for living.
*Their piety was often hypocritical and their efforts often forced others to try to live up to standards they themselves could not live up to.
*They believed that salvation came from perfect obedience to the law and was not based on forgiveness of sins.
*They became obsessed with obeying their legal interpretations in every detail that they completely ignored God's message of mercy and grace.
*They were more concerned with appearing to be good than obeying God.
I've had it up to here with present day pharisees. They may not be walking around in robes but they're here and they're working really hard at trying to point out what everyone else around them is doing wrong.
In other words, if we don't see Jesus the way they do, we're wrong. If we don't talk the way they talk, attend the church they attend, avoid the things they avoid, condemn the things they condemn or live the way they believe we should live - we're wrong.
Present day pharisees, you don't need to fret. You see, I let God deal with me about things. If he doesn't like the way I talk, he tells me. If he doesn't like the church I attend, he commands me to leave. If he believes I should stop doing something, he tells me. But interestingly enough, he never condemns. Sometimes he tells me in a gentle voice and sometimes he has to get a little more stiff or vocal. He knows me, he loves me and he'll deal with me if he needs to. And guess what, I hear him and I obey so you can stop losing sleep over everything I'm doing wrong.
More good news for you - if I fail to listen - he'll deal with that too. So see, you don't even need to worry about trying to punish me or prove how wrong I am. God can and will handle it.
Trust me, there are many areas of my life where he's given correction and I've been forced to make changes - sometimes those changes are painful. I've ended unhealthy relationships, I've stopped taking part in activities that I enjoyed and I've changed many of my behaviors and habits. When instructed to do so, I act. I spend time in the word, I pray, I go to church.
I listen to the voice of the Lord so if you're throwing words my direction and you aren't my Lord, my pastor, my husband, my mom, or one of the few friends who I allow to speak into my life about "spiritual issues"; you're wasting your breath. Go wag your bony little finger at someone else - yourself preferably.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a "Which Movie Badass Are You?" quiz to take on Facebook before I get dressed in my too tight jeans and take off to watch "New Moon" where I'm sure I'll be drooling over the male VAMPIRE which is the lead in the movie. If I'm lucky, I plan to end the night by driving over the speed limit while listening to "Right Round" by FloRida on my iPod.
My office/Flawed But Forgiven Studio/girl cave has a window in it and as I write or play on the computer, I glance outside quite often and take in the view.
Since taking over the room, I've made a new friend. He's a squirrel and he loves to come sit on a fence post and watch me watch him. I don't think we're sure what to make of each other.
He runs around the area, up and down the trees, through the back yard and across the fence but he always comes back to see if I'm watching. It's very cute.
The only time he sits still is when he's eating. He's eating the acorns as they fall of the tree - with it being the start of fall, he's getting his fill. I've found it very interesting that all the places he can eat, he always goes to the same spot. It's the post that sits in the corner of the fence. We can still see each other and as he cracks the shells and chomps away, he keeps an eye on me.
I've never seen him sit anywhere else. Not in tree, or on a different post - it's always that one. I'm curious as to why - I guess it's where he feels the safest.
That squirrel isn't much different from me. I have a spot - right here at this desk. I've tried to write other places, but nothing seems to flow. It's like light shines down from heaven into this room and on this chair and this happens to be where the flow happens - and nowhere else. Same for reading the word - it happens right here in this room - as does prayer - as does Praise and Worship (when nobody else is home to hear it). This spot is where I feel the most connected to the Lord. I feel safe here. I'm surrounded by things I love, colors that soothe me, happy memories . . . it just feels good!
I'm curious - do you have a spot? What about your spot makes it "your spot"?
I'm the worst sometimes at reading through the Bible for the simple reason of being able to say that I've read it; or I read it because I'm looking for something specific. In doing so, I know that I miss a lot of important truths.
God is God. The Bible is God breathed. I doubt that there is anything in the Word that doesn't have a reason for being in there. God knew that this would be all that he had left to leave behind and teach his people. He knew that every lesson, sermon and Christian ideal would come from this particular book. No doubt he knew the importance of what it would say. Do we dare believe that he would tell stories just to tell them? Or word things the way he did just to make them more entertaining? I don't believe he would.
This weekend I saw The Rock and Rabbi for the third time. If this show ever comes through your town I encourage you to see it. The music is amazing; the story - wonderful. It tells about the relationship of Jesus and Peter - told through story telling and music. It's extremely powerful.
For those of you who may need a refresher, Peter's name was originally Simon but Jesus renamed him Peter which meant "the Rock". And as you'll recall, it was Jesus who said to Peter "Upon this rock, I'll build my church and even the gates of hell cannot prevail upon my church."
Some say that Peter was Jesus' closest friend.
While at the last supper, Jesus informed Peter that he would deny Jesus three times before the rooster crowed that night. Peter, loving the Lord with all of his heart, assured Jesus that it wouldn't happen. Well, we've all heard the story - Peter did deny that he knew Jesus - three times.
Imagine what Peter felt as soon as he heard the rooster crow. Don't you know he replayed the three conversations in his mind where he'd denied Jesus? I can't even imagine the grief he must have felt. Here Jesus had given him the name, "The Rock", and after three years of following him, and loving him, it took three unimportant people asking him if he knew Christ, for him to deny him. Disappointment in himself would probably be an understatement of epic proportion. He was probably devastated. Judas wasn't even as close to Jesus as Peter was and he killed himself after he betrayed him. The enormity of the situation was not lost on Peter and as far as he knew, he'd never have the chance to make things right - Jesus was about to die.
The story of course, continues. Jesus was crucified.
Three days later - Jesus rose from the dead!
Jesus appears to Mary.
Jesus appeared to the Disciples - including Peter - behind locked doors.
Okay, so what do you think Peter was thinking? Do you think he might have been ashamed to look at Jesus? After all, Jesus had been right. Peter was probably relieved that they were in a group of people so that Jesus wouldn't bring it up. I know I would have been.
Jesus appeared to the Disciples again - including Peter - while they were fishing.
Jesus appeared to the Disciples - including Peter - over breakfast. The Bible says, and I quote: "This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead."
Back to The Rock and the Rabbi and the narrator comes to a particular portion of the story that each and every time I hear, I cry. I'm going to write the scripture word for word as it is in the Bible. Let's see if you realize what (I believe) Jesus is doing for Peter.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."
Again Jesus said, "Simon, son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."
Three times Jesus asked Peter if he loved him. Three times, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to negate what he'd professed three times just a few days before. Three times Peter denied knowing the Lord, and now Jesus was allowing Peter to proclaim three times that he loved him. Amazing. What a loving Savior!
Jesus could have gone on about the business of the church. He could have skipped right over the conversation, but he didn't. There was an importance to it and there's an importance to it being the Bible. I don't even know if Peter got it. It says he was upset that the Lord didn't trust him. But what I see, and what I saw when the Narrator said the words during the show, was that Jesus gives us second and third (and more) chances to prove our love for him. No matter what we've said and done in the past, he let's us come back and show just how much we truly love him. He let's us try again. I'm so grateful for that.
Peter was going to be the vessel that God used to start the church. But Peter was also loved by Jesus simply because he was Peter. Jesus didn't just want Peter to have faith so that he would move forward with establishing the Kingdom. Jesus wanted Peter to know that he was loved and that their relationship was still solid.
It's about relationship. It always has been and it always will be. Although Jesus may have big plans for us - for him it's still always about our relationship with him. Above all else - he wants a relationship. Praise the Lord!
The video below is from The Wittnesses - which is the follow-up show to The Rock and the Rabbi. The narrator is speaking as "Peter" as is the person singing.
I've got a boo-boo - as my kids used to say when they were very little. I cut my thumb while making dinner Monday night. Sliced it on a bread knife while I was doing the dishes and let me just say, I love Jesus but I cuss a little - or at least I did immediately after the injury.
It hurt yall. It wasn't one of those injuries where you don't notice it right away. I knew the moment it happened and it started throbbing within seconds. You can relate right? You grab a paper towel or rag and put as much pressure on it as you can as it continues to bleed and hurt like heck.
Sadly, Shaun wasn't home to give me sympathy. So, I called the boys in and told them what happened just so I could make sure that somebody else knew how much pain I was in. I mean let's be honest here, it's not worth the pain if you can't get a little bit of sympathy out of it, right? The boys acted interested for a total of 3.7 seconds before they scurried back to their bedroom to play on their respective game systems and I was left alone standing in the kitchen with a bleeding finger that was still throbbing. What was worse? I still had to make dinner. If that's not crappy I don't know what is.
The finger still hurts. It's a day later and the sucker still hurts - bad. But here's what I've noticed with this injury - you don't know just how much you need your thumb until you can't use it like you used to. It's difficult to type on the computer, wash dishes, put on makeup, and texting . . . Fuhgettaboutit. It's just a small little part of my body, you'd never guess that having it incapacitated would cause so many problems. Nothing else seems to work properly without my thumb doing its part.
So, what's my point? We're all thumbs. And no, I don't mean that in context to your drawing ability. I mean it in context to your existence in God's kingdom. We're thumbs and pinkie toes (ever try to get around with one of those hurt?) and elbows and ears, and hands and feet, and eyes and mouths and knee caps - you get the point. We're his body and he needs us healthy in order to function properly. If we're injured due to sin in our lives then we can cripple the entire body. And if we're wallowing in our injured thumb-ness/self-centerdness, well, that's even worse because it can cause us to try and draw the attention of others away from their work and onto us. Our need for comfort from others (because of the choices we've made) only takes more valuable resources from God's hand of special gifts and abilities.
Who knows what your thumb-ness adds to the kingdom, I sure don't. But God put you here for a reason so I figure your little digit is worth something - otherwise, why would he even bother? There are plenty of thumbs to go around, plenty that'll do what they're supposed to - so why would he add you to the hand if he didn't really need you? God created the universe and everything in it and of it. If he didn't really need you, do you think he'd bother creating you too? I doubt it - I think he's smarter than that.
So, get over yourself. Clean up the sin in your life so he can use your thumb-ness to aid the rest of the body in getting down to the job of serving his kingdom. Otherwise, we're all going to suffer.
How is it possible to love people you’ve never met or those that you’ve only known for a short amount of time? I’m not talking about the infatuation type of love that you have for a new crush. I’m talking about friendships that form pretty much instantaneously and you know without a doubt that this is a person that you’re going to adore for a long, long time.
I bring the subject up because I’ve had a lot of it going on in my life over the last few years and I was reminded of it on Sunday.
In November of 2007 my husband and I went on a mission trip to Gulu, Uganda. While we were there, we fell in love with the staff of the Favor of God ministries. There were a few people that we bonded with in such a super-natural way that it couldn’t have been anything less than God-ordained. Before our bus pulled out of their driveway on the day we left, I was a blubbering idiot. I’d never cried so deeply in my life. I truly felt as if my heart were being torn in half. When I left Uganda, part of my heart stayed behind.
By the grace of God, one of those heart-friends, Godfrey, came to the states and we were able to spend a few hours with him on Sunday. I can’t even begin to describe the joy I felt in seeing him again. I was literally in heaven. The way he talked, and laughed hadn’t changed and I felt as connected to him during those two hours as I had for the nine days I’d spent with him in Uganda.
Wow, God is so good.
My heart has also recently connected with people that I’ve never met in person but only over the internet. Two examples are friends in Montana and Australia. God allowed us to find each other through blogs and we realized that we had a lot in common – so much so, that we’ve kept in almost daily contact. I’ve never met these people, but I love them just the same and I’m so happy that God brought them into my life.
The best example of a “sudden love friendship” are my few closest friends. With each one of them there was an instant connection – a spark of energy that we couldn’t deny. The love I felt for these women was unlike any I’d ever felt for another friend – it was instant. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had great friendships in my life – but these, these were God given and I knew it in seconds.
When we open ourselves up to the relationships that God would pick for us rather than the relationships that we would chose for ourselves – it makes all the difference. I’m glad I paid attention when he brought each and every one of these people into my life!
Did you think I fell off the face of the earth? Well as much as I'd like to sometimes, I'm still here. I took a sabbatical. No, actually I just got lazy but sabbatical sounds so much prettier!
I've diagnosed the problem with my inability to keep up with the blogs - the problem is the podcast. For those of you who don't know, I now take part in a three times a week podcast called Flawed But Forgiven and many of the ideas I would have used for my blog are now being used on the pod casts.
So, here's what I'm going to do - I'm going to allow them to piggy back off of each other - if the need hits. Let's face it, not everyone who reads my blog listens to the pod casts and visa versa. So, if I blog about a topic that we discuss on the podcast, what's it going to hurt? For those of you who take part in both, they'll compliment each other and you'll get the best of both worlds.
[Not that every blog post will correlate with a podcast - but I won't be shying away from the lap over and I won't feel so much pressure to come up with something brand new].
How about we try that out for a while??
Another reason I haven't been blogging as much is my book Salvaged. We are in the editing phase and I had a deadline to meet of Nov. 15th for all of my changes. Talk about scary! Every time I see the manuscript there is something about it I would change, so I'm looking forward to sending it off and being done with it; knowing I can't change it any more. The approximate release time frame has been given and it's March/April 2010. I'll make sure to keep you updated!
Back to the blog - my hope is to have new posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Twice a week sounds fair enough right? I promise to give each and every post the same amount of prayer that I've given each one before.
Thanks for being a part of my little world! I'm still in awe that there are people out there who are interested in what I have to say!
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